Archive for the ‘TTC’ Category

Doubly confirmed!

The doctor’s office just called to say that the blood test was positive. If I had any doubts (I didn’t), I couldn’t still.

So…she asked about getting a gynecologist, and I said I planned to after our trip this weekend and asked for the number of the hospital. In a week I’ll call there and see what happens next. I also asked a friend for her doula’s contact information, since she seemed to like her, and we’ll see how much that costs before I make any decisions about whether or not to use one. The internet claims $250 to over $1000, with an average of $400, and a few insurance plans cover the cost (it’s unlikely that mine does, but I’ll still check into it).

The internet also says that women in labor are often left alone for quite a while in the first stage of labor, which is also the longest. That’s one reason to have a doula. Another reason, which is more important to me, is having someone who can tell when I absolutely have to go to the hospital. From the reading I’ve done, I don’t think I want to spend much time there before I’m fully dilated, because I get the impression that the longer you’re there, the more likely they are to claim failure to progress and either induce or call for a cesarean (and anyway, I’d rather go through most of the pre- stuff at home). I really do not want a cesarean — I’m almost as against it as I am circumcision and the only reason the two aren’t equal is that I know sometimes a cesarean is necessary.


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Primarily so that C would believe me, I took a 4-dollar grocery store pregnancy test this morning in addition to the blood test that was drawn yesterday (the result of which we won’t hear till Monday). I woke up at 7:30 with the itch in my soul like it was Christmas morning (instead of just Christmas Eve morning). Sure enough, the vertical line showed up right away.

Damn, I forgot how messy it is to pee on a stick. I was going to go back to bed but since I had to wash off anyway, I just took a full shower and stayed awake. So yeah, I’m pregnant. Gonna be a mom. Having a baby. Sometime near September, there will be three.

This is so weird. Awesome, but weird.

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95% sure I’m pregnant!

Late period + sudden, inexplicable, and intense 5-second-long corned beef craving + instances of hormonal irritation I haven’t felt since I was on the wrong birth control pill = 95% certainty I’m pregnant.

I have a pap smear tomorrow and I’ll ask for a test then. Merry Christmas!

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Just not-squee :(

It’s a period.

I feel cheated. In school, they told me that if I had unprotected sex I’d get pregnant. They lied.

I’m going to go have coffee, and later I’m going to have sushi, and tonight I’m going to have a beer or three.

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Well, either I got my period almost a full week early, which I doubt because I think my cycle was longer than 28 days when I was not on the pill, or this is implantation bleeding. It’s just a little so far, about the same as spotting, but I don’t know if my period would go back to normal so soon after stopping the pill.

However, this comes the same day I learned something that makes me very sad. A fellow knitter and friend of mine who manages the local Stitch N Bitch, mother of a baby and a toddler, about 40 years old and a truly awesome person, just found out that she has breast cancer. She’s the kind of person who has tons of friends, total extrovert, sweet and interesting and I always look forward to seeing her on Sundays because we knit, talk, and laugh the whole time. I just love her.

I am upset. Of course now I’m all awkward because I have no idea what to say…

I do hope she makes it to SNB on Sunday.

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Moving slowly…

The pace of this is really frustrating to me. Usually when I decide to do something, it’s something I can start on right away, or something I can work on when I want to if it’s a long project. But aside from the obvious, which I can’t do just whenever, there’s really not much to be done when you first start trying to have a baby. I mean, I can do research, but I haven’t found anything new the last few times.

Plus, and this kind of bothers me, I start feeling like I’m going to be a completely different person while pregnant. This is a goofy idea. I’m me; I’m unlikely to change much even with pregnancy hormones, but every site warns about mood changes and I’m afraid of becoming a raging psychobitch as I have on some birth control pills before. I hated that feeling of deep-seated rage and I hated the actions I took while I felt it. It’ll take a lot of patience and willpower to avoid the same behavior if I start to feel the same way, and I’m not sure I have enough of those.

But if I am getting pregnant this month, implantation should happen sometime this week, as it’s the third week of the cycle. And then I will be pregnant for reals.

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How about now?

This is it: the week I should be ovulating. I keep thinking, “Am I pregnant yet? What about now? Now?”

…And now it’s even worse, because I have checked other ovulation calendars online and today is apparently the last day I’m fertile, not the third-to-last as I previously thought, if I have a normal cycle.

So, my future son or daughter (which is really weird to say): Are you started? If so, I’m still not yet pregnant, as you won’t implant in the lining of my uterus for another week or so. But I’m eagerly awaiting the first signs that your birth day will be in early August — should be two or three weeks, ish.

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