Archive for the ‘Wedding’ Category

Wow. Just wow.

I cannot express how amazed and overwhelmed I’ve been over the outpouring of love and support we got from everyone for the wedding. I was expecting that I’d be directing everything and responsible for everything (which I now realize would have been impossible), but a number of people took over everything that had to be done, and made our wedding as stress-free as possible and truly the absolute best day of my life. Adding to that the incredible generosity shown to us in gift-giving, even from people who couldn’t make it to the wedding, and there just isn’t any other expression for it but “completely overwhelming”. My only regret is that I didn’t get around to talk to everyone, for which I apologize. Charles tells me that he did visit around, so at least one of us did…I guess I got a little carried away with the dancing >_>

Thank you, everyone. Thank you so very much. Words can’t express my gratitude and love for you all.

(Published later than written so it stays at the top)


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Heeeeeeeeeeeere weeeeeee go!

3 days till the wedding! And my last day of work for almost a month. I can’t wait for the road trip! We got a GPS and a car inverter (converts the car power outlet to house outlets) as some of our gifts, and since they were delivered to his parents’ house (his parents, unlike my family and the wedding, are local), we went ahead and found them so we can have them on our honeymoon. We haven’t tried out the inverter (thanks Mike!) yet, but the GPS is just what I hoped it would be when I registered for it (thank you Vogels!). It has a bicycle mode, so we can take it with us when we go out on our bikes, too. And it’ll allow us to find Gold’s Gyms, for which we have travel passes, and service stations in the desert, and the diners listed in the four or five books we’ve been given, and yarn stores (I hope), and other interesting things.

I will try and update this site every day or two or three, and hopefully I’ll remember to give out the address to friends and family, since I think I haven’t really done that much since it was only going to be a cycling blog….

Accuweather says it’ll be a beautiful day this Saturday, with a high of 74°F and mostly sunny (some clouds and a tiny chance of a short storm). Hopefully it won’t be humid like it’s been this past week, where you get into bed after having a fan pulling air in through the bedroom windows and discover the sheets are damp — and by damp I mean actually wet, not just a little sticky. Ugh. I worry about my guitar…I may ask C’s mom if I can bring it over to their house as they usually have the a/c on. And they have central air, unlike our dinky college apartment, where the window unit makes a small part of the apartment very cold and leaves the rest like nothing’s happening, all the while sucking electricity like…


I’m terrible at metaphors — I’m too literally-minded. “Like an out-of-shape runner gasping for air” is the best I can think of. It uses a lot of electricity. Double the bill for a few days of a/c — seriously, it’s that bad. We have four computers, but the a/c doubles the bill when used only for a few days?

The desert will be a relief after the last week of swimming through the air. I visited my aunt and uncle in Arizona years ago, and one day we went shopping downtown. It was gorgeous out, a little warm but with a nice breeze going by every so often, but after a while of wandering about outside, my aunt started to try and steer me into the shade before I made myself sick. I was surprised — “are you kidding me, it’s like 80 degrees out” — and she said “It’s a hundred and ten, get in the shade!” (In my defense, I had never experienced desert before.)

I wonder how many Midwesterners get heat- or sunstroke when they go to Arizona for the first time? “Let’s go for a walk, it’s beautiful! Man, I thought it was supposed to be hot here!” *walks about in the sun, falls over*

On that same note, we’re having the power steering leak in the van fixed before we go through the desert on the old Route 66, where service stations can be 100 miles apart. I’d rather spend the money now to get it fixed (with the shop aware that we’ll be traveling through the desert) than attempt to ride as much as 50 miles on a bicycle in the desert, especially considering that, in 75 degrees here in the green Midwest, the best I can do is about 25 miles. But if we do break down close enough to a service station, it’ll be nice to be able to ride for help if necessary. (Gotta put water bottles on the to-pack list.)

Okok. Back to work.

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  • Oregano seeds are tiny.
  • Seed packets contain a lot of seeds.
  • I need more tiny ziploc bags.
  • I’m still going to have a lot of leftover seeds.
  • A Sharpie writes on ziploc bags, though you need to give it a moment to dry or it will smudge.
  • Parsley seeds are cute. (So are tiny ziploc bags, but I knew that already.)
  • Procrastination is the devil.
  • I will probably never figure out for certain whether changing my name is the “right” thing to do.

That last one requires explanation.

I agree with C’s opinion, expressed years ago, that “a family should all have the same name.” I also think that hyphenating is only putting off the problem, and it makes things more difficult in the meantime (also, who hyphenates? The woman. Why bother? How is that different from just taking his name?). Because of past events in his family, his father would probably not be happy with him changing his name; also, he’s the one who’s going to have the career and nobody expects a man to change his name, so he probably shouldn’t (granted he’s only in grad school, but he is in grad school and already networking). What reasons do I have not to change my name? It’s tradition from when women were considered property.

Granted, that’s a big one. But what we have today is the freedom to choose, and if what we’re really trying to do is to make things even, I shouldn’t consider past gender roles in my decision. What matters is what’s in my life. And what’s in my life is a few reasons for him not to change his name, none for me not to, and a combination of [family = same name] + [him not changing his name] which leads to me changing mine.

I’ve thought this through before; I’ve talked about it before with other people; I’ve gone over it with a fine-toothed comb. But I’m still not sure, and I don’t think I ever will be.

What’s in the way is emotion. I’m not a Vulcan (on an unrelated note, I liked that movie and fuck anybody who says different), but when I make decisions based purely on emotion, I fuck myself over. Every damn time. I’m not just marrying C because I love him and he loves me; I’m also marrying him because he is good, intelligent, patient, kind, gentle, strong, and sweet; because we have a good relationship; and because we look in the same direction and make judgments and decisions based on similar criteria (which is why we have a good relationship), something I never considered necessary for a good relationship before this one because I was naive and stupid and didn’t know what a good relationship looked like.

Anyway, I like my name. That’s it. That’s the big deal. Nobody ever spells it right; nobody’s ever heard of it. It’s a surprise to everyone who asks. My first and last names together make me a completely unusual person, and I like it that way. Sure, I use my middle name at restaurants because I don’t feel like spelling out my first name for the sixty bajillionth time, but I can’t imagine googling my name and finding people who aren’t me. But there’s one who has done work for NPR, can you believe that? She even spells it with two Ns.

I started listening to that story and I twitched when I heard MY NAME. Because it’s MINE, dammit. Even if it’s not yet.

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It was a gorgeous 55 degrees on my ride home from work yesterday, so I went for a run as I had previously promised myself I would. I battled the urge to drive this morning, losing and then winning it. I’m glad I rode instead; it wasn’t too cold (as I knew, but the cold always seems worse when you’re warm, even if when you get out in it you barely notice it) and I wasn’t too stiff. And with lunch in the fridge (leftover fajitas from Dos Reales — num), I didn’t have a real reason to drive.

I was pleasantly surprised during my run to find that 1. I was able to vary the foot on which I started a breath enough that I didn’t get a stitch until the very end, and 2. cycling through the winter has kept my lungs enough in shape that it was a fairly comfortable run. (So my car breaking down in November turned out to be a very good thing.) I went easy for the first run in several months, only going about 3 miles, which took me about 45 minutes including my brief walk to warm up in the beginning (I probably didn’t need to walk that long, given that I’d just ridden my bike home 20 minutes before, but better safe than sorry). This is about normal for me. At 30 pounds overweight, I was astounded last September (ish) to find that if I ran slowly, I could just keep running until I got a stitch — probably about 20-30 minutes. And I could run a whole 5 miles (with walking breaks to get rid of said stitch(es)). It would take me an hour and 15 minutes, but I could do it.

I couldn’t do that in high school when I was in pretty good shape from playing soccer every year. I guess I just pushed myself too hard.

This weekend I go up for my little cousin’s birthday party on Saturday evening. She will be 3, I think, maybe 4. Sunday morning, Dad and I will probably visit the church at which I will be married in May — he’s thinking he might want to get back to a religious tradition and I think the UU church will be good for him. I’m going to try and get him to ride there with me; it’s only 6.2 miles in a car, so with the usual detours through residential areas that make a bike ride in Naperville not be a terrifying experience, it should be about 7 miles or so. Shouldn’t take longer than an hour each way, I think. We’ll see if 30°F is too cold for him 🙂

If he doesn’t want to ride, maybe I’ll go for another run. 🙂

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Finally took the Christmas lights off my road bike. It was raining the other day and the lights say “indoor use only” so I figured I should. Zzzt! No thanks!

Problem with that is, though: Nobody can see me any more! I have a few lights on order at the co-op along with some other things, so hopefully that will help, but what I really need is front and back helmet lights so I can point my lights directly at the cars without nearly falling off my bike. But that’s going to have to wait till we have more money, because wedding and dental expenses (and the new vehicle we’re buying) are coming due and we’re a little uncomfortable. Squeezed somewhat. Not yet making our contributions to savings less generous…but thinking it might be necessary to. Later on.

You know what I really want though? A reflective vest with little LEDs embedded into it and a pocket for the batteries. That would be the shit. Hey, I think I just figured out what to use the remainder of our Amazon gift card on.

Our rings might be ready soon, too. Funny how, now that we’ve put so much money into savings for the wedding, we’re loath to take it out, even for wedding expenses. That tells me that my method of “put it into savings now, you can always take it out later” is a good strategy for hanging on to money if you’re used to spending whatever’s available. You do what you have to do to get the long-term effect you want, using your own particular quirks to your advantage.

Works in other areas too. Our current apartment is about 3 miles from my work, and I’d prefer a longer commute as well as to go through campus, which I don’t now since we live on the same side as my office. I particularly like taking Green Street through campustown — for a few brief moments I can pretend I’m riding in a real city! And it makes me push myself because it’s kind of scary — I can see from the side that there’s enough room for my bike, but when I’m riding, it doesn’t seem like there’s very much room at all, so I go faster so that fewer cars can pass me. So in the interest of lengthening my commute without having to push myself to do it (because I don’t, especially when it’s cold and/or windy), our next apartment will be on the other side of town from work. My commute will be 5 miles at the shortest. We’ll be right near the bike co-op, Starbucks, the grocery store, the farmers’ market, and the only place in town that sells quinoa, but nice and far from work. And when I’m up for the challenge, I can take Green Street all the way from Neil to Vine and scare the shit out of myself by racing the cars. It’s a blast.

The best way to lose weight? Make it a matter of course. Trying to do it before the wedding, but if I have to I’d rather do it after than not at all!

Need to start running again, too. You know what, next time it’s above 50°, I go for a run.

It’s been gorgeous the last week or so and I’ve been reminded that I don’t have to bundle up quite as much as I have been for those 35-40° days. But I did discover this morning that 39-in-the-sun does require one more thin layer in addition to the three I had, or maybe a more wind-resistent jacket. Tonight I’ll probably put on my other additional layer that I brought just in case, because I won’t have the sun to warm me up anymore. If the temperature’s the same, it shouldn’t be too much.

It’s a fine line between wearing enough that I don’t shiver at stop lights and not wearing so much that I sweat more than I have to while moving. Fortunately I only have a few stop lights and if I’m chilly I can take a route where there are always (instead of hopefully) cars to trip the lights.

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