Archive for December, 2009

Doubly confirmed!

The doctor’s office just called to say that the blood test was positive. If I had any doubts (I didn’t), I couldn’t still.

So…she asked about getting a gynecologist, and I said I planned to after our trip this weekend and asked for the number of the hospital. In a week I’ll call there and see what happens next. I also asked a friend for her doula’s contact information, since she seemed to like her, and we’ll see how much that costs before I make any decisions about whether or not to use one. The internet claims $250 to over $1000, with an average of $400, and a few insurance plans cover the cost (it’s unlikely that mine does, but I’ll still check into it).

The internet also says that women in labor are often left alone for quite a while in the first stage of labor, which is also the longest. That’s one reason to have a doula. Another reason, which is more important to me, is having someone who can tell when I absolutely have to go to the hospital. From the reading I’ve done, I don’t think I want to spend much time there before I’m fully dilated, because I get the impression that the longer you’re there, the more likely they are to claim failure to progress and either induce or call for a cesarean (and anyway, I’d rather go through most of the pre- stuff at home). I really do not want a cesarean — I’m almost as against it as I am circumcision and the only reason the two aren’t equal is that I know sometimes a cesarean is necessary.


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Primarily so that C would believe me, I took a 4-dollar grocery store pregnancy test this morning in addition to the blood test that was drawn yesterday (the result of which we won’t hear till Monday). I woke up at 7:30 with the itch in my soul like it was Christmas morning (instead of just Christmas Eve morning). Sure enough, the vertical line showed up right away.

Damn, I forgot how messy it is to pee on a stick. I was going to go back to bed but since I had to wash off anyway, I just took a full shower and stayed awake. So yeah, I’m pregnant. Gonna be a mom. Having a baby. Sometime near September, there will be three.

This is so weird. Awesome, but weird.

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More symptoms

Well, just one really: hunger.

Two pieces of pizza, even thin crust, would normally have left me satiated — not stuffed (that would take three) but I wouldn’t have an appetite and I definitely wouldn’t be hungry. But my stomach is still grumbling that it didn’t get enough. And this morning, my occasional bacon/egg/cheese bagel, which has always been enough before, left me hungry by noon.

Here we have the instinct to protect and nurture my baby being fought down by my desire to lose weight and my fear of gaining. I was just starting to lose after successfully cutting out sugar. But I guess if I keep not eating sugar, I won’t crave it later when it’s time to lose weight again.

Maybe after I find out for sure tomorrow, I’ll feel better about it. More likely, though, it’ll take at least until I start to show, if it happens at all, for me to come to terms with gaining weight. I may hit 200 pounds, of which I have a horror.

My problem is this: I’m afraid that if I start eating larger portions again, I won’t be able to stop when I’m no longer carrying a baby. No, that’s not quite right. I’m almost certain that’ll be the case. It took me five years to figure out portion sizing the first time. It will probably take me at least a few months to do it again, maybe even a year or two. How long am I going to be unable to lose weight? I’ve already been trying to for eight years!

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95% sure I’m pregnant!

Late period + sudden, inexplicable, and intense 5-second-long corned beef craving + instances of hormonal irritation I haven’t felt since I was on the wrong birth control pill = 95% certainty I’m pregnant.

I have a pap smear tomorrow and I’ll ask for a test then. Merry Christmas!

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